Today i woke up feeling good. I don't always feel that way. Most days it takes alot to get me out of bed. I just can't face the world. But today was different. Don't know why. I guess it kinda felt different. Change was in the air. Things were about to start for me. I had this blog to take care off, more art to do and a podcast to sort out. And i think that's where i began to unravel.
I started to worry about how things would work. About how people would like what i did. Is it good enough? Would anyone look at it? Should i just give up? That is the one question that i always seem to say to myself. The one question that will instantly burst that tiny bubble of hope.
I used to just freak the fuck out and take out my frustrations on those around me. Even if they were trying to help. I am surprised i still have any friends left the way i treated them. I was horrible. I was at my worst. But i have been getting help .I'm not afraid anymore to say that i need it nor that i got it. Everyone should. Some more than most.
So what am i trying to say? Well, i guess it's that, no matter how you feel, how you got to where you are right now, there is always someone out there who will help. Who will stick around, and be that punch bag. I am SO lucky to have found and kept a few people who are willing to stick around. And i got that help. I am much calmer, better abled to cope with what shit life throws in my direction. But we all have off days. I am just trying not to have that many.
I am not that good at writing. Never was. My spelling and grammer is *coughs*, REALLY suspect....lol But i find writing or talking about how things are, really does help get things off your chest and make you fell just a little better. Oh and don't worry, not all posts will be like this. I do have some wild opinions and shit, plus i can have a laugh too!