Sometimes i feel like i just want to punch someone. Doesn't matter who. I get so worked up it drives me mad. And i know it's happening. Which only makes it worse. I am trying SO damn hard not say or do anything to me or anyone that i might regret later. I wish i could feel "normal". I wish i could be like all the rest. But then i realise that it's not just me. That there are others who feel the same or who are worse than me. And they, like me, have no-one to talk to. I only have this blog to talk to you, the reader. Sad isn't it? I used to have someone to talk to but that had to end. And i don't know if it was the right thing to do. I need someone to have an ear bashing with. Someone to take out my frustrations on. Obviously them knowing that i don't mean it. At least not to them. I wish for alot of things. But to some kind of normal is all i want.Is that really too much to ask for? Or am i just feeling sorry for myself and what i am feeling is just in my head? How the fuck do i know?
And the crazy thing is i can put on a great "i am fine" face but inside.....i am a complete mess. I think knowing i have this problem and i can tell it's happening, is a good thing. Right? But how do i go from there? Or where?
I know i need help. And i guess at some point i will get it.The people i kinda relied upon just aren't there for me anymore, or maybe they never were to begin with. I am feeling so confused. I just don't wanna feel like this anymore. I don't know what i need. But for know ....help!