Ok, so i am starting to do something that is helping me figure myself out. I write down stuff. I write down how i feel. Which is a god send. And if i have anything to say to someone, no matter who they are, but i don't want to get in an argument with them. Maybe cos they are a celeb of some kind or they just are not that accessible and i simply don't know them well enough. Yes, i write down the arguments that some may have in their heads down. Why do i do this? Well, i go back to them after a couple of days, and basically laugh at what i was angry at them about. Plus it's like i have more space in my head for things that really matter. Like me.
Imagine looking at diary's you may have kept when you were younger. How many times have you laughed at what you wrote? Alot, right? Well that is basically what happens to me. We all have arguments or disagreement with folk and then wonder why what is was you were having a go at them about. Most of the time its over something totally stupid. Something childish.
So how exactly does this help me? And i must agree that this is not for everyone. But for some reason it works for me. I have a bad habit of bottling things up. Of holding stuff in and saying how i feel. And when i do, i really let go. Or i used to. ALOT. But i learned to control it. With the help of some good friends, who knew/know what i was going through and a counsellor, i am finally managing to right some wrongs in my life. And i finally seeing the real me. At least as real as i can be. I don't always write, i sometime use how i feel in my art work. I am learning to channel my anger into other things. So that i am not taking it out on my friends or other. It has been SO enlightening to me. And i have to say its not over. And i don't know if it ever will. Why should it?
So, no mater how you do it, whether you use pen and paper, or use something digital, just write down how you feel. How things are in your life. If you are feeling that someone has done you wrong. then write it down. Even write down how the argument might go. Then put it away. Don't look at it. Then after a couple of days. Go back and look at it. And ask yourself, how and why did you feel and get that way. Yo don't kow until you try.
And you know that i will look back on this and think - what the hell was i saying? lol But no matter. It's out there. It's me. It's who i am. Now. And i quite like who i am becoming.
Now get out there and enjoy yourself!!